Well with all the muck that has been going on with me, my parents, in their infinite wisdom, have sent me a present to cope. My little brother will be flying to Germany tonight. This way, Josh can work & house hunt without interruption. Chris will help with the pets, and help haul me around in a wheelchair so I can get out of my cave. Plus, Chris can cook meals. Oh, I love my husband so much, but I can't WAIT for Chris to come cook!!!! You don't want to know how much direction my poor husband needs to grill a cheese sandwich, or microwave a potato. But it's ok, he tries, and I appreciate it.
But yay for real food!!!!
Anyway, my brother and I are something of a legend. He's my absolute BFF, and we get a long like two peas in a pod. But you always know when the Bolton children are around...we're always scheming something. You know when animals act strange before a storm, and things get eerily calm? Well, that's when you can tell the Bolton kids are up to something.
As soon as I'm thru with surgery, and am recovered enough to be out and about, we're going to rent a wheelchair for me, and tear thru Germany like a bunch of hooligans. I can guarantee there will be a wheelchair/crutch race at some point. I can guarantee we will take Chris to the places that serves 3 liter beers (and we WILL be drinking the 3L beers). I can guarantee there will be long philosophical discussions on how, if the world just realized that Chris and I have the best ideas on religion/politics/human nature, there would be no more wars, famines, plagues, or bad reality TV shows.
I do wish that he were coming here under better circumstances. We won't be able to do as much fun stuff as we'd like. But, it will still be a fun time. And I'm sure Josh is praising Jebus right about now, because I don't know how much more of my whining he can take. That, and he really hates scooping the litter box.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Ms. Crankypants
I'm in a terrible, no-good, very bad, horrible mood. And because I'm in such a rotten funk, I refuse to let myself be lifted out of it. I want to enjoy the funk, wallow in misery, and go to the garden to eat worms. Except I can't even GET to the garden, because I'm stuck IN THIS FREAKING BED!!!!!
So, to further indulge my witchiness of the day, I've decided to make a list of things that are currently causing me to writhe in despondency. Because I want to, and you can't stop me.
1. I hate this cast. It's heavy, it itches, and it's uncomfortable.
2. I really wish I hadn't broken my leg. This is stupid. Damn your stairs, you stupid former apartment!! Damn your stairs to hell!
3. I have to give myself a shot of blood thinner, in the stomach, every night until Monday. This displeases me. Not because needles bother me, but because the medicine makes it feel like I'm getting stung by a bee. Plus, it's gross. And even though the doctor assured me that it is a complete myth, I'm terrified of accidentally injecting myself with air, and causing a major coronary embolism or whatever it is that Hollywood says will happen if you inject yourself with air.
4. I HAVE TO HAVE FREAKING SURGERY ON FREAKING TUESDAY!!!! There is not one part about it that makes me not unhappy. Not one single bit. I don't want to have surgery, and I curse those flipping stairs yet again.
5. I am stuck laying down 23.5 hours a day. The 0.5 hours is for the times I have to get up to go to the bathroom. It's my only escape from the drudgery of bedriddeness. Is that not the most pathetic thing ever? The most exciting part of my day is when I have to pee.
6. I hate crutches. They are a constant reminder that I am a weak klutz. Not only are they awful to try and maneuver in, but I am in constant fear of falling while on them. Which I did, once, in the bathroom. Luckily I caught myself on the toilet on the way down. :/
7. I feel like a 95 year old woman. Potty chair, shower chair, laying in bed all day....oh, just shoot me.
8. I have a window in my bedroom. The window is open, but I can't see out of it because it is covered with a rolladens. I'm convinced that other guests of the hotel gather outside my window and blow their cigarette smoke thru the screen to my room.
9. I'm bored with the internet. I've seen every website there is to see. There is nothing else. I'm at the end. You'd think I could be taking my German lessons, or reading more, or blogging more. But no. I have zero energy or enthusiasm to do anything. I am a lump of butter.
10. I'm in Europe and I can't do a damn thing that I want to do. I want to know which smartass in the great beyond thought that this would be a great joke to play on me.
11. I am being a gripy crankypants. Yes, I realize at the beginning of this entry that I said I wanted to bask in my own poo-colored aura. I really don't though. I want to be happy and bubbly in spite of the figurative cloud of fecal matter surrounding me.
Ugh, there. Maybe now that I got my complaints out, I can just reread this entry over and over to calm myself. Instead of raping Josh's ears like a nagging harpy.
So, to further indulge my witchiness of the day, I've decided to make a list of things that are currently causing me to writhe in despondency. Because I want to, and you can't stop me.
1. I hate this cast. It's heavy, it itches, and it's uncomfortable.
2. I really wish I hadn't broken my leg. This is stupid. Damn your stairs, you stupid former apartment!! Damn your stairs to hell!
3. I have to give myself a shot of blood thinner, in the stomach, every night until Monday. This displeases me. Not because needles bother me, but because the medicine makes it feel like I'm getting stung by a bee. Plus, it's gross. And even though the doctor assured me that it is a complete myth, I'm terrified of accidentally injecting myself with air, and causing a major coronary embolism or whatever it is that Hollywood says will happen if you inject yourself with air.
4. I HAVE TO HAVE FREAKING SURGERY ON FREAKING TUESDAY!!!! There is not one part about it that makes me not unhappy. Not one single bit. I don't want to have surgery, and I curse those flipping stairs yet again.
5. I am stuck laying down 23.5 hours a day. The 0.5 hours is for the times I have to get up to go to the bathroom. It's my only escape from the drudgery of bedriddeness. Is that not the most pathetic thing ever? The most exciting part of my day is when I have to pee.
6. I hate crutches. They are a constant reminder that I am a weak klutz. Not only are they awful to try and maneuver in, but I am in constant fear of falling while on them. Which I did, once, in the bathroom. Luckily I caught myself on the toilet on the way down. :/
7. I feel like a 95 year old woman. Potty chair, shower chair, laying in bed all day....oh, just shoot me.
8. I have a window in my bedroom. The window is open, but I can't see out of it because it is covered with a rolladens. I'm convinced that other guests of the hotel gather outside my window and blow their cigarette smoke thru the screen to my room.
9. I'm bored with the internet. I've seen every website there is to see. There is nothing else. I'm at the end. You'd think I could be taking my German lessons, or reading more, or blogging more. But no. I have zero energy or enthusiasm to do anything. I am a lump of butter.
10. I'm in Europe and I can't do a damn thing that I want to do. I want to know which smartass in the great beyond thought that this would be a great joke to play on me.
11. I am being a gripy crankypants. Yes, I realize at the beginning of this entry that I said I wanted to bask in my own poo-colored aura. I really don't though. I want to be happy and bubbly in spite of the figurative cloud of fecal matter surrounding me.
Ugh, there. Maybe now that I got my complaints out, I can just reread this entry over and over to calm myself. Instead of raping Josh's ears like a nagging harpy.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Aycock Luck + Bolton Grace
Just when you think things are starting to go swimmingly...
BLAMMO!!!
You fall down some stairs and break yourself in several pieces.
Or at least that's what happens to me.
Sunday morning, 2:30am. I wake up to use the bathroom. Then I decide I need a drink. And then I decide that Josh needs his drink as well. I have mine in my hand, and go to get Josh's glass, which I know is in the living room. Unfortunately for the Aycocks, I forget that it is a sunken living room, with two steps leading down. (we had JUST moved into this new temporary apartment on Friday). Well, I feel myself flailing. My ankle goes in, I hear a pop, my ankle goes out, I hear a pop, and I'm down on the ground, in a camisole and thong, wailing for Josh. (btw, I don't break the glass, or even spill it on the way down)
Josh does a little "oh my god" dance for about thirty seconds, then gets on the phone and calls for an ambulance. I'm shivering uncontrollably at this point - it's a tiled floor, and I'm half-nekkid. So he wraps me up, and puts some pajama pants on me. THEN he tells me "Don't look at your ankle.".
Crap. I mean, I know it's broken, just by the pain & the sound my ankle made. But still. Don't look at it?? That can't be good.
FINALLY, the ambulance gets there. They wrap me up like a burrito, and try to carry me out. One thing I didn't mention about this apartment - we're on the basement level, down a curved flight of stairs. The EMTs quickly realize they will not be able to haul my burrito-ass up. SOOO, they call another ambulance. They get me into a Hannibal Lecter-esque chair and carry me up the stairs.
Meanwhile, I'm going in between shivering and sweating, and am very uncomfortable. And poor Sasha doesn't know what the heck is going on. And Rufus has been hiding in Narnia since the fall. And I can't even describe the look on poor Josh's face.
Finally we get to the hospital, where we wait. And wait. And wait. Before they do an X-Ray, they have to take a urine test to make sure I'm not pregnant. It is at this point I truly understand the magnitude of what I just did to myself. Because now, I cannot get off of a toilet by myself. Getting down is ok, because I can just kind of fall on the seat. Getting up? Impossible. So now my poor husband has to help me off a toilet, and then help me get my pants back up. This is not something that I wanted us to have to deal with until we were both, say, 75.
Well, fast forward to after the x-rays are done (the first of 3 sets I will eventually take). Turns out, both sides of my ankle are broken, AND it is dislocated. So, they have to put me into 'conscious sedation' to put the pieces back together. Let me tell ya - that was probably the worst thing I experienced. I had no clue where I was, or why. I couldn't feel anything, but it was like I was in a tumbling, twirling dream state. There were aliens probing me, and weird lights. And I could hear screaming in the background. I had no idea what the screaming was, but it was strange. Once I woke up, I found out the screaming was coming from me. How about THAT for sending some chills down your spine?!
While part of my bones were able to be put back together, it still wasn't good enough. So the orthopedic surgeon's assistant came in, injected a "block" in my ankle, and started manipulating my poor leg every which way. At this point, I've got percocet & the "block" (which is a numbing agent) so I really don't feel that bad. Until they tell me - I have to have surgery. The break is so unstable, I have to get plates & screws put in my ankle.
BOOOOOOO!!!! Tuesday, April 25th, I have my follow up with the orthopedic surgeon, and they'll tell me when I get surgery.
We finally get out of the ER at 1:00pm. Yes, I went thru this ordeal from 2:30am to 1:00pm. Not a good night. Now, I managed to get down to our apartment by sliding on my butt the whole way down the stairs. But it was still so exhausting. And every time I had to go to the bathroom, Josh had to help me the whole way there and back. We finally decided there was NO WAY I could stay in an apartment that handicapped-UNfriendly. Josh managed to break the lease, and find us a ground-floor hotel. It's much easier for me to get around here. Actually, as of Wednesday, I can manage to get to the bathroom and off the toilet by myself!! Josh bought me a bath chair, and a toilet riser. So I successfully feel like an 80 year old woman.
I still can't really do much, though. I have to lay down with my foot on a pillow. The swelling HAS to go down in order for me to get surgery. Unfortunately, there is only one English-speaking channel on the tv in the hotel (CNN). But, I have my laptop, and some books. And I have my percocet. I sleep a LOT during the day.
And let me tell ya - crutches SUCK!!! Although, maybe some good will come out of this. I'm using all kinds of muscles. I'm sore all over. I don't have much of an appetite. Best diet ever???
And Josh...my wonderful, caring husband. He has been so good about everything. Helping me off the toilet, helping me fluff my pillows, helping me in the shower. Do you know how embarrassing it is for your husband to undress you to put you in the shower, after 3 days in the same pair of underwear? He is basically being a single parent now. I really can't do much to help him at all. I have to start thinking of ways to repay him, after all of this is over. I'm really mad at myself - I basically ruined the next two months of our time in Germany.
BUT, when you you're a klutz like me, you kinda get used to the fact that shit happens.
BLAMMO!!!
You fall down some stairs and break yourself in several pieces.
Or at least that's what happens to me.
Sunday morning, 2:30am. I wake up to use the bathroom. Then I decide I need a drink. And then I decide that Josh needs his drink as well. I have mine in my hand, and go to get Josh's glass, which I know is in the living room. Unfortunately for the Aycocks, I forget that it is a sunken living room, with two steps leading down. (we had JUST moved into this new temporary apartment on Friday). Well, I feel myself flailing. My ankle goes in, I hear a pop, my ankle goes out, I hear a pop, and I'm down on the ground, in a camisole and thong, wailing for Josh. (btw, I don't break the glass, or even spill it on the way down)
Josh does a little "oh my god" dance for about thirty seconds, then gets on the phone and calls for an ambulance. I'm shivering uncontrollably at this point - it's a tiled floor, and I'm half-nekkid. So he wraps me up, and puts some pajama pants on me. THEN he tells me "Don't look at your ankle.".
Crap. I mean, I know it's broken, just by the pain & the sound my ankle made. But still. Don't look at it?? That can't be good.
FINALLY, the ambulance gets there. They wrap me up like a burrito, and try to carry me out. One thing I didn't mention about this apartment - we're on the basement level, down a curved flight of stairs. The EMTs quickly realize they will not be able to haul my burrito-ass up. SOOO, they call another ambulance. They get me into a Hannibal Lecter-esque chair and carry me up the stairs.
Meanwhile, I'm going in between shivering and sweating, and am very uncomfortable. And poor Sasha doesn't know what the heck is going on. And Rufus has been hiding in Narnia since the fall. And I can't even describe the look on poor Josh's face.
Finally we get to the hospital, where we wait. And wait. And wait. Before they do an X-Ray, they have to take a urine test to make sure I'm not pregnant. It is at this point I truly understand the magnitude of what I just did to myself. Because now, I cannot get off of a toilet by myself. Getting down is ok, because I can just kind of fall on the seat. Getting up? Impossible. So now my poor husband has to help me off a toilet, and then help me get my pants back up. This is not something that I wanted us to have to deal with until we were both, say, 75.
Well, fast forward to after the x-rays are done (the first of 3 sets I will eventually take). Turns out, both sides of my ankle are broken, AND it is dislocated. So, they have to put me into 'conscious sedation' to put the pieces back together. Let me tell ya - that was probably the worst thing I experienced. I had no clue where I was, or why. I couldn't feel anything, but it was like I was in a tumbling, twirling dream state. There were aliens probing me, and weird lights. And I could hear screaming in the background. I had no idea what the screaming was, but it was strange. Once I woke up, I found out the screaming was coming from me. How about THAT for sending some chills down your spine?!
While part of my bones were able to be put back together, it still wasn't good enough. So the orthopedic surgeon's assistant came in, injected a "block" in my ankle, and started manipulating my poor leg every which way. At this point, I've got percocet & the "block" (which is a numbing agent) so I really don't feel that bad. Until they tell me - I have to have surgery. The break is so unstable, I have to get plates & screws put in my ankle.
BOOOOOOO!!!! Tuesday, April 25th, I have my follow up with the orthopedic surgeon, and they'll tell me when I get surgery.
We finally get out of the ER at 1:00pm. Yes, I went thru this ordeal from 2:30am to 1:00pm. Not a good night. Now, I managed to get down to our apartment by sliding on my butt the whole way down the stairs. But it was still so exhausting. And every time I had to go to the bathroom, Josh had to help me the whole way there and back. We finally decided there was NO WAY I could stay in an apartment that handicapped-UNfriendly. Josh managed to break the lease, and find us a ground-floor hotel. It's much easier for me to get around here. Actually, as of Wednesday, I can manage to get to the bathroom and off the toilet by myself!! Josh bought me a bath chair, and a toilet riser. So I successfully feel like an 80 year old woman.
I still can't really do much, though. I have to lay down with my foot on a pillow. The swelling HAS to go down in order for me to get surgery. Unfortunately, there is only one English-speaking channel on the tv in the hotel (CNN). But, I have my laptop, and some books. And I have my percocet. I sleep a LOT during the day.
And let me tell ya - crutches SUCK!!! Although, maybe some good will come out of this. I'm using all kinds of muscles. I'm sore all over. I don't have much of an appetite. Best diet ever???
And Josh...my wonderful, caring husband. He has been so good about everything. Helping me off the toilet, helping me fluff my pillows, helping me in the shower. Do you know how embarrassing it is for your husband to undress you to put you in the shower, after 3 days in the same pair of underwear? He is basically being a single parent now. I really can't do much to help him at all. I have to start thinking of ways to repay him, after all of this is over. I'm really mad at myself - I basically ruined the next two months of our time in Germany.
BUT, when you you're a klutz like me, you kinda get used to the fact that shit happens.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Plague
Ugghghhhhh.........
4 days. 4 days of Germany WASTED because SOMEBODY had to bring the flu germs into our house.
Now, I'm not naming any names, except I can tell ya that it wasn't me.
All Friday afternoon/evening, after the Japanese gardens, Mr. Aycock complained of a sore throat & a lot of mucus. Pleasant, eh? So, Saturday he woke up really not feeling well, and I woke up feeling not that great. So our plans were scrapped in hopes that we would feel better by Sunday & be able to go to the Easter market on.
WRONG! The Mister ended up with a fever all Saturday night. Sunday was my day to slip head first into Zombieland. Aaaaaand here we are, Tuesday, and I still feel like monkeybutt.
Do you know what really stinks?? Two people having a flu & fighting over who has to take the dog out - up and down 3 flights of stairs. I think I got out of doing it more than my fair share...and now I feel guilty.
So to Josh - thank you for being the mighty pillar in our family. Thank you for your self-sacrificing nature. Thank you for putting up with the whining of me, but not the whining of the dog, as she sat in front of the door & crossed her legs. You truly are a king among men.
Now, please pick up some dinner on your way home from work.
4 days. 4 days of Germany WASTED because SOMEBODY had to bring the flu germs into our house.
Now, I'm not naming any names, except I can tell ya that it wasn't me.
All Friday afternoon/evening, after the Japanese gardens, Mr. Aycock complained of a sore throat & a lot of mucus. Pleasant, eh? So, Saturday he woke up really not feeling well, and I woke up feeling not that great. So our plans were scrapped in hopes that we would feel better by Sunday & be able to go to the Easter market on.
WRONG! The Mister ended up with a fever all Saturday night. Sunday was my day to slip head first into Zombieland. Aaaaaand here we are, Tuesday, and I still feel like monkeybutt.
Do you know what really stinks?? Two people having a flu & fighting over who has to take the dog out - up and down 3 flights of stairs. I think I got out of doing it more than my fair share...and now I feel guilty.
So to Josh - thank you for being the mighty pillar in our family. Thank you for your self-sacrificing nature. Thank you for putting up with the whining of me, but not the whining of the dog, as she sat in front of the door & crossed her legs. You truly are a king among men.
Now, please pick up some dinner on your way home from work.
Friday, April 8, 2011
I think I'm turning Japanese.
Yes, I know what that song means. No, I'm not really turning Japanese.
But there WAS an explosion of flowers today.
(heehee, I crack myself up)
Anyhooooo, Josh and I headed out to the Japanese Gardens in Kaiserslautern today. In German, the Japanischer Garten (the J pronounced as a Y).
It was a nice, quiet little oasis in the middle of a pretty big city. As is the Aycock luck, half of the place was under construction for the opening of their season. And when was the first day of opening season? April 1st...a week ago....don't you think it would probably be a good idea to have ALL OF THE FLIPPING CONSTRUCTION done BEFORE opening season?
Did I just sound like an ugly American?
But I digress. It really was a nice walk through the gardens, and a lot of the cherry blossom trees were blooming. There was a wedding party there as well, with a very pretty bride in a red wedding dress (which I think is a normal wedding dress color for some Asians).
Here's where I start to get politically incorrect, people. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cuz e'erybody gettin' inappropriate up in here.
I just think it's SO WEIRD to see Asians speaking German!!! Apparently there are quite a few Asians in Germany, at least we saw a lot today (yes, we were at the Japanese gardens, but still....) You know how we have Asian-fusion cuisine in the US?? What do you think Asian-German fusion food would be? Teriyaki schnitzel? Sushi with mashed potatoes instead of rice? Ooh, wasabi sausage!!!
Actually, that sounds really delicious....well, wasabi and veggie sausage, maybe.
But I still think it's weird to hear Asian people speaking German.
On that note - after the gardens, we went to what is basically the German equivalent of a Super Walmart - called 'Globus'. It. Was. AWESOME! So many interesting and different things. (sidenote - I just giggled as I typed that last sentence. My grandmommy says that ALL THE TIME!!! "oh, well that's interesting and different" haha). In addition to all the regular grocery & sundry items, they had aisles and aisles of beer, and aisles and aisles of Haribo gummies & other various candy. Basically - a girl's dream come true. Or at least mine - alcohol and sugar. YES!
We actually only ended up buying one thing, though. Grapefruit orangina. Now, I LOVE orangina, but have never seen the grapefruit version. Let me tell you, it's like drinking unicorn spit, it's that good.
Now, we have a big day tomorrow - off to Heidelberg for the day. And on that note, it's time for me to relax with the honey, watch a movie, and dream of sauerkraut and kimchee.
Wait a minute....maybe that's the key!!! Pickled cabbage!!! Apparently, it can unite continents.
But there WAS an explosion of flowers today.
(heehee, I crack myself up)
Anyhooooo, Josh and I headed out to the Japanese Gardens in Kaiserslautern today. In German, the Japanischer Garten (the J pronounced as a Y).
It was a nice, quiet little oasis in the middle of a pretty big city. As is the Aycock luck, half of the place was under construction for the opening of their season. And when was the first day of opening season? April 1st...a week ago....don't you think it would probably be a good idea to have ALL OF THE FLIPPING CONSTRUCTION done BEFORE opening season?
Did I just sound like an ugly American?
But I digress. It really was a nice walk through the gardens, and a lot of the cherry blossom trees were blooming. There was a wedding party there as well, with a very pretty bride in a red wedding dress (which I think is a normal wedding dress color for some Asians).
Here's where I start to get politically incorrect, people. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cuz e'erybody gettin' inappropriate up in here.
I just think it's SO WEIRD to see Asians speaking German!!! Apparently there are quite a few Asians in Germany, at least we saw a lot today (yes, we were at the Japanese gardens, but still....) You know how we have Asian-fusion cuisine in the US?? What do you think Asian-German fusion food would be? Teriyaki schnitzel? Sushi with mashed potatoes instead of rice? Ooh, wasabi sausage!!!
Actually, that sounds really delicious....well, wasabi and veggie sausage, maybe.
But I still think it's weird to hear Asian people speaking German.
On that note - after the gardens, we went to what is basically the German equivalent of a Super Walmart - called 'Globus'. It. Was. AWESOME! So many interesting and different things. (sidenote - I just giggled as I typed that last sentence. My grandmommy says that ALL THE TIME!!! "oh, well that's interesting and different" haha). In addition to all the regular grocery & sundry items, they had aisles and aisles of beer, and aisles and aisles of Haribo gummies & other various candy. Basically - a girl's dream come true. Or at least mine - alcohol and sugar. YES!
We actually only ended up buying one thing, though. Grapefruit orangina. Now, I LOVE orangina, but have never seen the grapefruit version. Let me tell you, it's like drinking unicorn spit, it's that good.
Now, we have a big day tomorrow - off to Heidelberg for the day. And on that note, it's time for me to relax with the honey, watch a movie, and dream of sauerkraut and kimchee.
Wait a minute....maybe that's the key!!! Pickled cabbage!!! Apparently, it can unite continents.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Cujo + Toddlers & Tiaras = My Life
I love animals. I love MY animals. I probably love my animals more than a healthy amount. I don't have biological children, but I do have my furry kids. Now, that's not to say I'm one of those whack-jobs that talks to their pets like they're human, or dresses them up, or anthropomorphizes the hell out of them.
Ok, maybe I am.
But I'm DEFINITELY not one of those people who thinks that their pets are far superior above all other pets. And I would NEVER give up my comfort for the sake of my animals - for instance, giving them my half of the bed so I have to sleep hunched in the fetal position with no sheets.
Alright, alright, it is possible I am one of those people.
However, I am not one of those people that incessantly drones on about how wonderful their pets are, or how their pets have WAY more personality than your children have, or hell, way more personality than you have.
Ew....I am one of those people, aren't I?
Well, I may as well embrace the fact that I am one of those narcissistic, annoying, "pet parents." God, even the name "pet parent" makes me queasy.
But really, I have the best cat & dog in the world. They're just so freaking cute, and they have so much personality.
Be it their love of cherry sours, or their hatred of all other animals...and people, the Aycock furry-kids are the best kids in the world. I just had to put that out there.
Oh, and can you tell I've been cooped up in the apartment with the two of them for waaaayyyyyy too long? I need out, people. Somebody call the hostage negotiator, because I need a BREAK!!! The incessant barking, crying, growling (from both of them - yes, the cat hates hearing people in the stairwell just as much as the dog does), attention hogging behavior is getting on my nerves.
But damn, do I love them. Excuse me while I go give my widdle babies some tweats & pet their widdle heads and tell them how much I wuuuuuvvv dem.
Ugh, and now I have to vomit.
Ok, maybe I am.
But I'm DEFINITELY not one of those people who thinks that their pets are far superior above all other pets. And I would NEVER give up my comfort for the sake of my animals - for instance, giving them my half of the bed so I have to sleep hunched in the fetal position with no sheets.
Alright, alright, it is possible I am one of those people.
However, I am not one of those people that incessantly drones on about how wonderful their pets are, or how their pets have WAY more personality than your children have, or hell, way more personality than you have.
Ew....I am one of those people, aren't I?
Well, I may as well embrace the fact that I am one of those narcissistic, annoying, "pet parents." God, even the name "pet parent" makes me queasy.
But really, I have the best cat & dog in the world. They're just so freaking cute, and they have so much personality.
Be it their love of cherry sours, or their hatred of all other animals...and people, the Aycock furry-kids are the best kids in the world. I just had to put that out there.
Oh, and can you tell I've been cooped up in the apartment with the two of them for waaaayyyyyy too long? I need out, people. Somebody call the hostage negotiator, because I need a BREAK!!! The incessant barking, crying, growling (from both of them - yes, the cat hates hearing people in the stairwell just as much as the dog does), attention hogging behavior is getting on my nerves.
But damn, do I love them. Excuse me while I go give my widdle babies some tweats & pet their widdle heads and tell them how much I wuuuuuvvv dem.
Ugh, and now I have to vomit.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Women are from Venus...or maybe just me
Josh and I are a good couple. We like a lot of the same things, we dislike a lot of the same things, we have the same kind of humor. But, we are different in a lot of ways as well. For instance, Josh likes things to be planned out. I'm more of a spontaneous kind of girl.
Perhaps Josh is right in wanting things to be a little more planned out, as is evident from this Saturday.
We didn't decide what we were going to do for the day until around 11:00am. I know, I know, late start. This is another one of those instances where Josh and I are different. I am definitely a procrastinator, and he is decidedly NOT.
ANYWAY, we decide to take an hour-long drive (technically against our car rental agreement - don't tell) and drove to Silz to go to the "Wild und Wanderpark." It seems there are wildparks everywhere around here. They're basically nature parks, and a lot of them have animals, like deer, birds, etc. The drive was absolutely gorgeous - thru the mountains, up and down twisty-windy roads. All the motorcyclists were out, and it made me think of my parents.
We get to the wildpark, and then Josh asks, "Do we have any Euro?" ummmm.....No. And here we come to another difference between my husband and I. I guess it goes with the planning aspect, but I don't really think about all possible angles of a situation. I just run in with my head down, and assume everything will work out all right. Josh likes to be aware of ALL angles of a situation, and be ready to face all angles at once. So, we didn't have any money to get in - and Europe is NOT plastic-friendly. HAVE CASH AT ALL TIMES!!!!
Luckily the lady at the counter spoke English, and directed us to the nearest cash machine - 2 towns over, and 7km away. My bad.
So, let's fast forward thru some negative conversations that went on in the car on the way to get cash (such as...."why didn't you plan on this" and "it's not my fault!!").
We paid 6 euro each to get into what is a glorified petting zoo. Now, the location was gorgeous, and it was a nice, hour-long walk thru the woods. But how many goats & deer do we need to see??
Next, I had "planned" for us to go to the wine region, and go to a winery that I found online. Meanwhile, it's getting quite hot in the car. It's only about 72 outside (which is awesome), but after walking around in the sun, looking at deer, I'm hot. And the car a/c is not the best thing ever. So, Courtney is starting to get cranky. THANKFULLY, we're going to a winery, and I can get a drink. :) This is one thing Josh and I have in common - our love of wine.
Now, the drive thru the vineyards is awesome. I've never seen so many vineyards, ever.
We finally make it to the winery town of Pleisweiler-Oberhofen. Now, let me explain something to you, that many Americans may not know. Germans have "quiet-time" every day from the hours of 1pm-3pm, from 10pm on, all Sundays, and all Holidays. Basically, it's like a German siesta time. Wellllllll, it's 3:pm when we get to this town, but still no shops are open. There are wine bars/wineries along the entire street, both sides, and NOTHING IS OPEN!!!!! We go from door to door, looking like tourist alcoholics, looking for any open wine bar. All of them open at 5pm, except one, which opens at 4pm. Not being ones to be defeated so easily, we walk around until 3:40, at which point we just decide to wait in the car. Because Courtney is hot, and tired, and cranky. (and there's Josh, being energetic, upbeat, and not understanding why the heck Courtney is sweating so damn much)
FINALLY IT'S 4PM!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! The bar doors open, and a woman who looks exactly like my grandmother is staring at us. And she speaks not one lick of English. And the only German I know is how to say, "Nice weather today, isn't it?". There are no menus, no signs anywhere, nothing. So we leave.
We go to the wine region of Germany, and have not one drop of wine. Depressing.
On our way back, we decide to stop in at the Irish pub in Landstuhl, and the Thai restaurant in Ramstein for dinner. Are we culturally diverse, or what?
Quick note on the Thai restaurant. This is really really really excellent, authentic Thai. The service is not the best, and you never really know if you're going to get the correct order, but it's fantastic. Now, there is a little table inside the restaurant, filled with little caddies of soy sauce, chili paste, and sriracha sauce. This is another thing Josh and I have in common - the love of spicy. So, we pick up one of the caddies, and put it on our table. It wasn't until we walked out of the restaurant & Josh read the receipt that we found out WE PAID $5 FLIPPING DOLLARS FOR "DIVERSE SPICES"!!!!!!!!! We used a grand total of 2 tablespoons of chili sauce, and we were charged $5. What the hell....
So, our lessons for the day:
1) wildparks are not necessarily as cool as they sound
2) German establishments will not be open when you want them to be
3) every old lady in Germany looks like my grandmother
4) don't pick up the jar of chili sauce in the Thai restaurant
5) remember - sometimes it's okay to listen to your husband and plan things out a little more. however, he must also remember that I'll probably forget all of the lessons learned by next weekend.
Perhaps Josh is right in wanting things to be a little more planned out, as is evident from this Saturday.
We didn't decide what we were going to do for the day until around 11:00am. I know, I know, late start. This is another one of those instances where Josh and I are different. I am definitely a procrastinator, and he is decidedly NOT.
ANYWAY, we decide to take an hour-long drive (technically against our car rental agreement - don't tell) and drove to Silz to go to the "Wild und Wanderpark." It seems there are wildparks everywhere around here. They're basically nature parks, and a lot of them have animals, like deer, birds, etc. The drive was absolutely gorgeous - thru the mountains, up and down twisty-windy roads. All the motorcyclists were out, and it made me think of my parents.
We get to the wildpark, and then Josh asks, "Do we have any Euro?" ummmm.....No. And here we come to another difference between my husband and I. I guess it goes with the planning aspect, but I don't really think about all possible angles of a situation. I just run in with my head down, and assume everything will work out all right. Josh likes to be aware of ALL angles of a situation, and be ready to face all angles at once. So, we didn't have any money to get in - and Europe is NOT plastic-friendly. HAVE CASH AT ALL TIMES!!!!
Luckily the lady at the counter spoke English, and directed us to the nearest cash machine - 2 towns over, and 7km away. My bad.
So, let's fast forward thru some negative conversations that went on in the car on the way to get cash (such as...."why didn't you plan on this" and "it's not my fault!!").
We paid 6 euro each to get into what is a glorified petting zoo. Now, the location was gorgeous, and it was a nice, hour-long walk thru the woods. But how many goats & deer do we need to see??
Next, I had "planned" for us to go to the wine region, and go to a winery that I found online. Meanwhile, it's getting quite hot in the car. It's only about 72 outside (which is awesome), but after walking around in the sun, looking at deer, I'm hot. And the car a/c is not the best thing ever. So, Courtney is starting to get cranky. THANKFULLY, we're going to a winery, and I can get a drink. :) This is one thing Josh and I have in common - our love of wine.
Now, the drive thru the vineyards is awesome. I've never seen so many vineyards, ever.
We finally make it to the winery town of Pleisweiler-Oberhofen. Now, let me explain something to you, that many Americans may not know. Germans have "quiet-time" every day from the hours of 1pm-3pm, from 10pm on, all Sundays, and all Holidays. Basically, it's like a German siesta time. Wellllllll, it's 3:pm when we get to this town, but still no shops are open. There are wine bars/wineries along the entire street, both sides, and NOTHING IS OPEN!!!!! We go from door to door, looking like tourist alcoholics, looking for any open wine bar. All of them open at 5pm, except one, which opens at 4pm. Not being ones to be defeated so easily, we walk around until 3:40, at which point we just decide to wait in the car. Because Courtney is hot, and tired, and cranky. (and there's Josh, being energetic, upbeat, and not understanding why the heck Courtney is sweating so damn much)
FINALLY IT'S 4PM!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! The bar doors open, and a woman who looks exactly like my grandmother is staring at us. And she speaks not one lick of English. And the only German I know is how to say, "Nice weather today, isn't it?". There are no menus, no signs anywhere, nothing. So we leave.
We go to the wine region of Germany, and have not one drop of wine. Depressing.
On our way back, we decide to stop in at the Irish pub in Landstuhl, and the Thai restaurant in Ramstein for dinner. Are we culturally diverse, or what?
Quick note on the Thai restaurant. This is really really really excellent, authentic Thai. The service is not the best, and you never really know if you're going to get the correct order, but it's fantastic. Now, there is a little table inside the restaurant, filled with little caddies of soy sauce, chili paste, and sriracha sauce. This is another thing Josh and I have in common - the love of spicy. So, we pick up one of the caddies, and put it on our table. It wasn't until we walked out of the restaurant & Josh read the receipt that we found out WE PAID $5 FLIPPING DOLLARS FOR "DIVERSE SPICES"!!!!!!!!! We used a grand total of 2 tablespoons of chili sauce, and we were charged $5. What the hell....
So, our lessons for the day:
1) wildparks are not necessarily as cool as they sound
2) German establishments will not be open when you want them to be
3) every old lady in Germany looks like my grandmother
4) don't pick up the jar of chili sauce in the Thai restaurant
5) remember - sometimes it's okay to listen to your husband and plan things out a little more. however, he must also remember that I'll probably forget all of the lessons learned by next weekend.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Short Stories
We haven't really done many exciting things this week. So instead of one long tale, here's a bunch of short stories to tide you over til next time.
- Boredom. I hate to admit it, but I'm bored. Like, really bored. I know, I know, I'm in Germany, how is that possible?? Well, our rental car is a standard, which I can't drive. Yes, Dad, eventually I will learn how. But until then, I'm stuck at home without a car. We have daily housekeepers come, so I really don't have any cleaning to do - maybe the occasional load of dishes. I take Sasha for a walk and to the dog park, but that only lasts so long before she gets all cranky with other dogs being in her space. So my day is filled with internet, tv, reading, and German lessons online. Now, as I type that out, it really sounds like a good day. But trust me, it gets old after awhile.
- Colabier. This is a new one on me. Having been out to several bars/restaurants, I have noticed something. Every once in awhile, the bartender will fill a glass with half beer and half soda. It will be either cola or lemon-lime soda. (I have also seen half beer/half water and half wine/half water). Anyway - Colabier. One bartender told us it's really good for the designated drivers. He said a person can have two drinks normally without having to worry about driving home, but with Colabier, you can drink three or four (logical, eh?). Well, guess who has a fondness for this new taste sensation? Hint: It ain't me. Now, most of you know Josh cannot drink beer. Cider, yes. Beer, no. Until now. I must say, it's awesome to hear him say, "I'm so excited I can drink beer now." And I just giggle at him every time.
- Cherry sours. Recently, we bought a bag of cherry sours - little round, red balls of sour/sweet candy deliciousness that you can get in any gas station in the world. Well, in my state of overzealous excitement that I had a bag of cherry sours, I dropped one. Rufus quickly rant to it, and adopted it as his new favorite toy in the whole wide world. This is not surprising. He has a habit of stealing bottle caps, pens, and back in the day, cigarettes. He loves batting them around on wood floors. Well, apparently cherry sours are better than all of those things. He's been playing with the damn thing for a week. Then, he got a hold of the bag, and batted it around until several more sours fell out. Pretty soon he lost track of where they went, and us being the epitome of laziness - we just left them. Not for good - we figured he would find them sooner or later. Which he did, today. This is where the epic hilarity comes in. Today, Sasha had enough and wanted in on the fun. Now, she has her squirrel that she loves to play with. But, seeing the cat having all this fun with these sours, she wanted in on it too. So they batted one of the sours back and forth to each other, until she got REALLY excited, and started to pick it up in her mouth, and toss it around the apartment. I'm sure it's one of those things that really isn't that funny unless you see it. Ok, it's probably one of those things that is only funny to Josh and I, because these are our kiddos. BUT ANYWAY, with her tossing the sour around, she must have gotten a taste of it. All of a sudden, she snatches it up, goes to her kennel, and eats the damn thing. Then, seeing two more cherry sours on the floor, she gets them, brings them back to her kennel, and eats those too. She is still trying to lick the candy goo off her blanket.
- House-hunting thru history. Josh and I have been house-hunting this week - quite unsuccessfully, I might add. We went to this house about thirty minutes away, which was built in the 1500s. No kidding. It was AMAZING!!!! TOTALLY not right for us, and an absolute money pit, but SO AWESOME! Really, it was only a kitchen, a living room, a master bedroom, a guest bedroom, and 2.5 bathrooms. But it was about 3000 square feet, at least. The living room and master bedroom were absolutely MASSIVE. There were ponds outside the front of the house, and a huge backyard. It was all rock, and log beams, and stucco everywhere. The living room had a 16' well sitting in one corner of it. Seriously, an actual well. The other corner of the living room had this large fountain, with a gargoyle sitting at the base of it. The water is pumped up, flows out of the gargoyles mouth, and along this channel cut into the middle of the living room, flowing into the well on the other side. Even though we knew this house wasn't right for us at all (no internet access, really expensive too heat, the ceilings were too high to clean, and there were cobwebs everywhere) it was still worth it to go take a look. Alright, the real reason - I'm too much of a big baby to ever live in a house like that. Every bump in the middle of the night would make me wet the bed. I convince myself that there were ghosts lurking around every corner. There would be ZERO sleep for Courtney...therefore zero sleep for Josh, because I would wake him up every five minutes to tell him I'm scared.
Alright kids, that's all I got for right now. Hopefully we do some fun things this weekend, and I'll have more interesting things to talk about. :)
- Boredom. I hate to admit it, but I'm bored. Like, really bored. I know, I know, I'm in Germany, how is that possible?? Well, our rental car is a standard, which I can't drive. Yes, Dad, eventually I will learn how. But until then, I'm stuck at home without a car. We have daily housekeepers come, so I really don't have any cleaning to do - maybe the occasional load of dishes. I take Sasha for a walk and to the dog park, but that only lasts so long before she gets all cranky with other dogs being in her space. So my day is filled with internet, tv, reading, and German lessons online. Now, as I type that out, it really sounds like a good day. But trust me, it gets old after awhile.
- Colabier. This is a new one on me. Having been out to several bars/restaurants, I have noticed something. Every once in awhile, the bartender will fill a glass with half beer and half soda. It will be either cola or lemon-lime soda. (I have also seen half beer/half water and half wine/half water). Anyway - Colabier. One bartender told us it's really good for the designated drivers. He said a person can have two drinks normally without having to worry about driving home, but with Colabier, you can drink three or four (logical, eh?). Well, guess who has a fondness for this new taste sensation? Hint: It ain't me. Now, most of you know Josh cannot drink beer. Cider, yes. Beer, no. Until now. I must say, it's awesome to hear him say, "I'm so excited I can drink beer now." And I just giggle at him every time.
- Cherry sours. Recently, we bought a bag of cherry sours - little round, red balls of sour/sweet candy deliciousness that you can get in any gas station in the world. Well, in my state of overzealous excitement that I had a bag of cherry sours, I dropped one. Rufus quickly rant to it, and adopted it as his new favorite toy in the whole wide world. This is not surprising. He has a habit of stealing bottle caps, pens, and back in the day, cigarettes. He loves batting them around on wood floors. Well, apparently cherry sours are better than all of those things. He's been playing with the damn thing for a week. Then, he got a hold of the bag, and batted it around until several more sours fell out. Pretty soon he lost track of where they went, and us being the epitome of laziness - we just left them. Not for good - we figured he would find them sooner or later. Which he did, today. This is where the epic hilarity comes in. Today, Sasha had enough and wanted in on the fun. Now, she has her squirrel that she loves to play with. But, seeing the cat having all this fun with these sours, she wanted in on it too. So they batted one of the sours back and forth to each other, until she got REALLY excited, and started to pick it up in her mouth, and toss it around the apartment. I'm sure it's one of those things that really isn't that funny unless you see it. Ok, it's probably one of those things that is only funny to Josh and I, because these are our kiddos. BUT ANYWAY, with her tossing the sour around, she must have gotten a taste of it. All of a sudden, she snatches it up, goes to her kennel, and eats the damn thing. Then, seeing two more cherry sours on the floor, she gets them, brings them back to her kennel, and eats those too. She is still trying to lick the candy goo off her blanket.
- House-hunting thru history. Josh and I have been house-hunting this week - quite unsuccessfully, I might add. We went to this house about thirty minutes away, which was built in the 1500s. No kidding. It was AMAZING!!!! TOTALLY not right for us, and an absolute money pit, but SO AWESOME! Really, it was only a kitchen, a living room, a master bedroom, a guest bedroom, and 2.5 bathrooms. But it was about 3000 square feet, at least. The living room and master bedroom were absolutely MASSIVE. There were ponds outside the front of the house, and a huge backyard. It was all rock, and log beams, and stucco everywhere. The living room had a 16' well sitting in one corner of it. Seriously, an actual well. The other corner of the living room had this large fountain, with a gargoyle sitting at the base of it. The water is pumped up, flows out of the gargoyles mouth, and along this channel cut into the middle of the living room, flowing into the well on the other side. Even though we knew this house wasn't right for us at all (no internet access, really expensive too heat, the ceilings were too high to clean, and there were cobwebs everywhere) it was still worth it to go take a look. Alright, the real reason - I'm too much of a big baby to ever live in a house like that. Every bump in the middle of the night would make me wet the bed. I convince myself that there were ghosts lurking around every corner. There would be ZERO sleep for Courtney...therefore zero sleep for Josh, because I would wake him up every five minutes to tell him I'm scared.
Alright kids, that's all I got for right now. Hopefully we do some fun things this weekend, and I'll have more interesting things to talk about. :)
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